The Beginning
by Incomparable-Insanity
Summary: Magnus does the impossible and manages to save Alec from death and gives him eternity. The only problem is that Alec doesn't remember anything from his past. - Continuation of The Alphabet's Letter N - N is for Nothing .
1. Nothing

I thought I'd make this a series. And I'm only posting Nothing again because others might not have read 'The Alphabet' and won't know what's going on. So here it is. Chapter 2 to come by in a bit.

**Disclaimer: **TMI is owned by Cassandra Clare.

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><p><strong>Nothing<strong>

Magnus stood over the unmoving body of Alec Lightwood, his hands just hovering above the Shadowhunter's chest. His mouth popped into an 'o', gold-green eyes going wide as he took a few steps back. Had he actually done it? After years of telling himself that no – he would not do it, would not give Alec, of all people, forever.

It wasn't that he was selfish, or that his love for the boy was not enough. It was that it was dangerous. Almost near impossible. Difficult. And if he failed? Everything would be loss. Both his past and his future. Nothing would remain. But it had seemed to be the only solution left as Alec's fingers gripped his wrist just moments ago.

"You're not gonna die, Alexander," Magnus had said firmly and Alec only looked away, his hold slackening. It was not fair, Magnus conceded, how Alec, a perfectly healthy Shadowhunter, could fall to such a disease. A disease that slowly ate away his life, even blurred his memories. It was not fair how this was added to the extreme lists of things that only set them apart. Time would set them apart. Mortality would set them apart. Now this leech of a disease was going to take Alec from him earlier than expected. And he was not ready for that. And maybe even after fifty years he still would not be able to accept Alec's death.

And Magnus Bane had stared mortality in the eye. Had seen mortality in Alexander Lightwood. And had finally given in. _You're being selfish_, a voice in his head hissed. It did not sound like his voice. It was another voice, one from his past. _You said that you will not let mortality bring you apart. But then you give in. _

Was it long ago that he had argued with Camille Belcourt about the same subject? All in secret.

But was it also Camille who had put a way to becoming immortal into Alec's head? Not through death, of course, because Magnus would tear Camille apart before her fangs even got too close to Alec.

_You blame me now, Magnus. But watch what you will have created. And then you will only blame yourself. 'He is my future', is that not what you said? Magnus, you were my past. And I have loved you, truly. But watch as his life falls completely, as your future crumbles. And then you will have nothing left. This will be our last meeting, love. _

He should have known better. Should have never went with it. Was it because Alec asked him to do it? Because Alec could just die and Magnus could just be miserable forever. But he did not want that. He wanted to keep Alec with him – through whatever means.

There is nothing left now. Magnus closed his eyes and his knees finally gave in as he sunk to the ground, his fingers clutching at the collars of Alec's shirt. _Nothing_.

"I am an _idiot_," Magnus murmured, his forehead touching Alec's unmoving chest.

He had attempted the spell. Had went through with it and Alec had trusted him – trusted him not to screw it up, trusted him that they would both get through it. But he had failed.

"What does immortality mean if I have to be alone. Again and again," Always the same. But this loss has been greater, the pain too much.

As he sat there, eyes closed and his own breathing hard, Magnus thought that this had been all a grave mistake. He should have never done the spell. Never. Who in their right mind had succeeded in doing so? Near impossible. Very difficult. But he had thought that he would have been stronger to do it. Apparently, he wasn't. And it had taken e_verything_ from him. The attempt had taken Alec's life, had taken a huge amount of his own magic. It left him with nothing.

But then he heard a faint flutter, as if a heart was restarting. He stilled, not daring to breathe, his own heart hammering in his chest. He felt the rise of a chest. Not his own. And then, as the minutes ticked by, he felt warmth.

_Alec was breathing. _

He stared, wide eyes, down at Alec, his mouth, like before, dropping to an 'o'. He could not bring himself to say anything else as he straightened up and those blue eyes shone beneath the dark locks and stared at him.

"Alec?" He finally managed as Alec blinked and focused on him. There was confusion in his face – it did not look like how he had imagined it. He would have thrown himself at Alec now because he did not fail. He thought he had, but here was Alec – alive. With _forever_. But there was something very wrong. "Alec, love?"

Alec, in turn, just looked away, his forehead creasing as he frowned. "Who are you?"

Magnus froze, and it was not just his whole body that stilled. It felt like his insides had been blasted with the coldest air and with freezing water. He felt the ground give in, felt like he was falling.

"You-" Magnus managed, reaching out a hand for Alec to take but the Shadowhunter just sat up on his own.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I don't remember _anything_."

And Magnus knew that in a way, the spell had failed. It had taken Alec's past and gave him a future of immortality.

But the boy looked scared and confused and he offered his hand again. This time, Alec took it. It felt like how it felt every time they had held hands, but for some reason, something was missing.

"Your name is Alexander Lightwood and you're immortal."

Magnus had thought he lost _everything _from his past. But here was Alec – without any of his memories but with a future that said _forever._

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><p>Yes, I'm gonna be making this a series.<p> 


	2. Alec

**Alec**

Alec – that was what the warlock had called him. He didn't think much about names, that is, he couldn't recall a time when he thought much about his name. But now he wasn't even sure what his name was. He suddenly just woke up and the warlock had told him he had escaped death. But then what did that mean? He couldn't even remember anything.

Every time he tried to recall something, his head hurt and Magnus – that was the warlock who helped him sort out disorientation – would just pat his head and smile softly at him.

There was something very strange about the warlock. Only Alec – really, was that his name? Alec? Alec…Alec…Alec. – couldn't tell what. The warlock, after the first round of confusion, didn't touch Alec anymore than the reassuring pats on his head and the nods he sent his way. Alec wasn't even sure if he had a tie with this being.

But he was the only one around, so far, and he seemed to know a lot about him.

It didn't matter, Alec thought. You don't remember anything.

The day had gone by smoothly, Magnus not entertaining any of his clients – warlocks did that, did you know? Alec surely didn't. But he was sure he didn't know a lot of stuff. Either he didn't know or just didn't remember. He probably wouldn't even be able to recall any of it even if he killed himself trying.

Alec just sat on the chair, staring at what seemed to be a wand-like device. It was supposed to be a stele, wasn't it? That was what Magnus had said. Strange device. It was for Shadowhunters, too. Which he was. But how could he be something if he couldn't even remember any of it?

Magnus explained. Although it looked as if it pained him to some degree, recounting a past they both lived in – one Alec had forgotten entirely.

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><p>Alec trudged along the dirt ridden path, his boots splashing into puddles of water. He didn't even bother with the cold. It was as if something had suddenly electrified him and the feeling hadn't left ever since. Magnus – the warlock who explained things to him – explained that it was an after effect of the spell, because he had almost died. Almost died? Alec couldn't help but muse about that. What was he now, anyway? A vampire? No, that wasn't it. Magnus had denied that, even sounded offended that Alec would think he was a vampire. But he was immortal. Warlocks we're immortal – Magnus told him about that, too. And warlocks could cast spells. So Magnus Bane had spelled him into being an immortal. Just to save him from death. Brought him back from the dead? Not entirely, no. Just pulled him out of death's clutches.<p>

It was all so strange, honestly. There was a little voice inside his head that said that death would be welcome, that he did not fear death. But then another voice challenged that. Why should he not? Death meant the end. But those two voices had quieted. He didn't fear death anymore. He didn't even think death was waiting for him, or that dying was on his to do list. No, it surely wasn't. He was…Immortal. Never dying. Well, in age, anyway. He could still die – Magnus had warned him about that, too. But aging? Never.

He passed by a shop now and he looked at his reflection. Dark hair, blue eyes. He was still twenty three. He realized that he would always look twenty three. He sighed and went on. The clouds were starting to gather now and he knew rain would fall soon.

Magnus didn't like the idea of him walking alone. But the warlock had said something about, 'Maybe you might recall your instinct for battle, at least, when faced with danger.' But no danger had come to him and surely the warlock – who worked so hard to get him eternity would not want him to die because his battle instincts were forgotten, along with his own name and his entire past.

There was a wand-like device inside his pocket as well as a knife, incase anything did happen. His gut told him that he should be careful – this was New York. Who knew what lurked behind the shadows? Alec just wished his gut would tell him, or at least give him his memories back.

It wasn't fair that Magnus would suddenly just gaze at him and not say anything. Alec had no idea what he had with the man. Did they sleep together? Date? Or was Magnus just a good friend of his that didn't want him to die? He was attractive, and Alec found himself blushing more than once when Magnus stared at him. But the warlock did not initiate anything, did not discuss anything that might have led to 'them'.

Alec didn't ask for it, anyway. Instead, Magnus just gave him the low down on his past. He was a Shadowhunter. He fought demons – demons existed, who knew? And he had a sister and an adoptive brother who was away in Paris for his honeymoon. And he also had a little brother who died. Alec felt bad that he didn't feel sad about that death. It wasn't his fault he couldn't remember a boy dying, was it? He couldn't even remember his own past, much less somebody else's.

_Alec Lightwood. Twenty Three. Shadowhunter. _


End file.
